PART 3

He was close to perfection, an ideal gentleman,  my ideal fairy tale…..He did everything possible to make me happy, I fell deeper each passing day…I found myself saying and doing things I never imagined I could ( I don’t exactly believe in love and shii like that) but I think this time he really got me bad…I loved him a little too much and I let all my emotions go out of control…I was officially a sucker for love…*sigh*…Neil  got me gifts for no good reasons, he was always there whenever I needed him, even when I acted like I was fine he always saw through me…I tried my best to keep up and be there for him too, and I guess I was doing a pretty good job at it but I never felt I was doing enough no matter how hard I tried, but he never seem to complain….. As usual I had a clash of emotions, I was happy to have him but I was also scared of losing him or worse, he breaking my heart… (I have this believe that all men are cheats and liars) but no matter how much I searched for his faults I never did find anything to hold on to and that even scared me more…was this all a game?  a dare or bet he made with his friends?  am I actually the side chick? Does he just want to hit and run? These were questions I frequently asked myself, I never really could digest the possibility that he was for real….this made me really sad, I wished I could just bring myself to stop worrying and enjoy all the beautiful moments…I did a really good job covering my worries but It never really escaped my mind for a moment….We had our first official fight after 2 weeks but it didn't even last for an hour…after that we had a series of other misunderstanding but nothing major…

It was a cold Tuesday, I woke up excited (for no good reason)….something about that day felt incredibly good (like it was going to be the best ever) I knew something really big and exciting was coming my way…i got to class late (as usual) , then I was told there was some sort of lecturers conference and we were free for the day…..oh boy was I happy, “a free day! no lectures! I knew today would be great ”I said to myself, thinking of the million other  things I could do instead…Finally, my friend and I decided to hit the town, we got junks and drinks, music Cd and videos, it felt like a vacation( a very much needed vacation indeed)…we spent the whole day jesting , being all dramatic and gossiping, until around 10pm then we headed back to school….on my way I decided to make a stop since Neil’s place was close by….i tried calling to check if he was home but I got no answer…I didn't want to risk it so strolled back to get a cab to school, on my way back I saw the cutest couple ever making out in a corner then I realized how much I had missed Neil, all I could think about was the crazy thing he did with his eyes and the way he bit his lips whenever I kissed his ears and neck…Even more I remembered that day was our 2 months anniversary so I took a leap of faith and headed to his place…. I got in, greeted the guards because they knew me well (I was a regular customer here…lol)… From the gate I could hear the blast of “I love bad bitches that’s my fucking problem” coming from his speakers….shaking my head and laughing, I knocked on his door… I got no reply at first then I heard him shout “come in motherfuckers”(don’t mind my French), obviously he was expecting friends over…I entered and was welcomed by a choking smell and the stench of fermented alcohol, I coughed nonstop for about  6 seconds …..Then i walked through the passage into his room, where I saw him foolishly happy and dancing to Kendrick Lamar’s verse of the song… his room looked like a junky arena, with cigarette, vodka and other rolled up “leaves”(you know what I mean)…I stood there staring, trying to convince myself that this wasn't real, unaware that I was standing at his door, he did his popular back flip and landed right in front of me…. The most awkward moment in my life as I stared into his eye (usually, I get goose bumps doing this but instead I was in rage) unsure of what to do or say I simply stood there my heart filled with disappointment…… he stood in front of me obviously speechless and high…… he then held me firmly but this time it hurt, looked into my eyes with his breath tainted with alcohol and cigarette he said to me “this is me baby, you’ll have to take me like this because I won’t let you go… you are mine until I say otherwise” I felt a chill of fear run through me... I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I closed my eyes and counted to 10 in my head hoping all this sadness would disappear….and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse….a girl wearing nothing else but his shirt(my favorite one) walked out of his bathroom saying “boo”...... REALLY! Really! ... Neil really! HER! I found myself saying in a low voice, close to tears (she was his supposed cousin and she was super nice to me)… I felt my eyes betraying me; it was filled with tears waiting for my command to burst out… I could feel my throat tightening and burning, I couldn't speak another word or I’ll just let it all out … I had it under control in my own way, I think *sad laugh*…….i could feel my eyes putting up a fight but I could also feel all my defense falling apart as a tear rolled down my left cheek over my lips… And For the first time ever I felt true hate, not for him but me…. for being so stupid and believing every word he said to me.... but how could I have known? .......

The End???....should there be a part 4....???