For a moment my heart went numb......
i wan tell yhu a short tale...it's bout someone i knw very well buh i'll write it like a diary, i hope she's comfortable with this tho.....hopefully...
Usually i am stong n hard hearted, i plan everything i do, i hardly take chances buh when i do it's for the right reasons..sometimes tho...lol.....i changed environment, because the one i was in brought alot of sad memories n stress that i gladly ran away from.....My new environment was AWESOME....less stress, more money n fun buh as usual i decided to stay far away from LOVE or any feelings of sort...i did a good job at dat for about 2 wks den i met HIM...as normal as a regular guy could be or so it seemed then....he was a perv, at words tho (i have a thing for pervs *covers face*), he was funny, tots hilarious, not exactly cute but definately presentable...he was the kinda guy who noticed every little detail about you, he was spontaneous, indeed very sweet n close to perfection...BUT....but n but, i dnt knw why there always has to be a 'but', it sucks....He was leaving, for a year? 2 years? 10? i dnt knw...he was jes leaving...ps-he wasnt dying...he was travelling back to the states...we had just 3 wks, what seemed so perfect, sort of like the best i've ever or will ever have was leaving in 3 weeks...not even enough time to play hard to get...*smiles gently*...
we got unusually close in no time, talked for long hours...i tot it was the usual beginning sugar rush, buh it felt totally....eermmm....AWESOME.....yh dats d word...*sighs* i love him, i love him not, was my anthem...trying to convince myself that i was in total control of my emotions...we went out at every oppurtunity we got, we got even closer, the emotions more intense than ever...we were a twin at heart, we got each others jokes even when nobody else did, he always knew exactly what i was thinking,literally...we hardly got mad at each other,it was like being wif myself...Boy!, was the feeling *sighs* AWESOME pure awesome.....we avoided talking about the fact that he'ld soon leave but as a gurl, i could not hold it in for too long...i hated that i met him, i loved that i found someone that awesome...i was a confused being...i wanted to get mad at him, but for what purpose??..that he was leaving??...i started to miss him even when he was right next to me *sobbing*...
Time was moving faster than usual...we had just 5 days left, reality set in, the jokes started fading, total silence n lost in thoughts...... we both knew what we had to do(we are both not into the long distance relationship thingy), but how to do it was the issue.....what we had was too good to be ruined so easy, so we decided to keep our friendship......we started drawing away, trying to save each other from more ache, learning to stay apart and keep our emotions in check...those last days were the worst but i promised myself that i wasn't going to cry, hard tho but i wasn't....i remember those moments when i'm about to dial his number, then i just stop (i sigh deeply eyes closed, that intense breath summoning the tears back) Oh boy! was it hard and hurtful....
On the morning of his departure, he called.....He apologised for erryfing he had done wrong and how he purposely avoided me...He told me how AWESOME i was, and how sad it was to have to let me go...and i understood...not everyone gets a happy ever after....and OH! i forgot to mention that he had a competition, someone else that wanted me bad too...well there it is!...lol...he wished me the best, and said he would call when he got on board...Well, he ddnt n still hasnt....i was still hoping for a while but well, shit happens.......not the sort of ending you were expecting right? (rhetorical question)...but i guess thats life....so dats how i got "CLOSE" to being heart broken...and judging from how i feel now, i guess i handled it well.....
and yes! i know said "short tale"....*covers face*.....hehe
